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Helping a Significant Other Struggling With Addiction

Helping a Significant Other Struggling With Addiction

Loving someone who is struggling with addiction can feel overwhelming. You want to help, but the thought of starting that conversation may be intimidating. You may be concerned with how they may react and whether they will be defensive. They may even try to deny that there is a problem. These concerns are normal. The good news is that approaching your significant other with compassion, understanding, and the right strategies can make a difference.

Addiction doesn’t always look the way you expect. It can be subtle, especially in high-functioning individuals. Recognizing the signs early can help you intervene before things escalate. Here are some common signs of a substance use disorder:

  • Behavioral changes: Your loved one may have mood swings, increased secrecy, or a sudden loss of interest in hobbies or responsibilities.
  • Physical symptoms: You may notice changes in your significant other’s appearance, such as weight loss or poor hygiene, or signs like bloodshot eyes or tremors.
  • Financial issues: If there is unexplained spending, missing money, or sudden financial struggles, this may be a sign of a problem.
  • Work or school problems: Declining performance, frequent absences, or disciplinary issues may indicate there is an issue with substance use.
  • Social withdrawal: You may notice that your significant other is pulling away from friends and family or isolating themselves.

How to Start the Conversation

Talking about addiction is sensitive and requires a thoughtful approach. You will want to approach your loved one with care and have a plan in place. Some tips to consider for starting the conversation include:

  • Choose the right time and place: Find a quiet, private space where you won’t be interrupted. Ensure both of you have time to talk without feeling rushed.
  • Express concern without blame: Use “I” statements to share how you feel. For example, “I’ve noticed some changes, and I’m worried about you.” Avoid accusations or judgment, as this can make your partner defensive.
  • Focus on specific observations: Mention specific behaviors or incidents that have concerned you. For example, “I noticed you’ve been missing work a lot lately, and it seems like you’re struggling.” 
  • Listen actively: Allow your loved one to speak without interrupting. Show empathy by validating their feelings and acknowledging their struggles.

What to Do If They Refuse Help

There is a possibility that your significant other may deny the problem or refuse help at first. While this can be discouraging, there are still steps you can take:

  • Stay calm and patient: Don’t force the issue. Let them know you’re there for them whenever they’re ready.
  • Set boundaries: Protect your well-being by setting clear boundaries. Let them know what behaviors you won’t tolerate.
  • Seek support for yourself: Join support groups like Al-Anon or reach out to a therapist for guidance on how to cope.
  • Provide resources: Offer information about treatment options, but avoid pressuring them.

How to Be Supportive in Their Recovery

If your partner decides to seek help, your support can be a powerful motivator in their recovery journey. Here’s how to encourage and uplift them:

  • Celebrate their progress: Acknowledge milestones, no matter how small. Celebrate their courage in taking steps toward recovery.
  • Offer practical help: Assist with tasks like attending appointments, managing schedules, or finding support groups.
  • Be patient and understanding: Recovery is a process with ups and downs. Offer encouragement, especially during challenging times.
  • Educate yourself: Learn about addiction and recovery so you can better understand what your partner is going through.
  • Practice self-care: Supporting someone in recovery is demanding. Prioritize your own mental and emotional health to avoid burnout.

Your role doesn’t end once your partner enters treatment. Ongoing support is essential for maintaining sobriety. You may want to attend family therapy and participate in counseling sessions to strengthen communication and address underlying issues.

Promote healthy habits at home, such as encouraging a balanced lifestyle that includes exercise, healthy eating, and stress management. Be sure to keep open lines of communication and check in regularly about their progress.

It is vital to respect your loved one’s boundaries. Give them space to focus on their recovery while remaining a steady source of support.

At Stone River Recovery Center in San Antonio, Texas, we’re here to help you and your loved one navigate this challenging time. Our compassionate team offers residential and outpatient treatment programs designed to foster lasting recovery. Please reach out today to learn more about how we can support you both on this path to lasting sobriety.

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